Women these days..

I guess the sign that your getting older, is when you go out and instead of searching for that girl to “Make Love In The Club”, your just babysitting a drink and looking for an intelligent conversation. Back in the day, me and my boys would also call that, gay. But I’m comfortable in my grown man status. I’ve learned that the type of woman I’m looking for I’m not gonna find at no club. And if I do find her there, she’ll be married, dating, or lost. So when my “peoples” drag me out with them, I usually sit off to myself unless I’m called to the floor for my impromptu dance scene. Like in the movies, where everyone knows the same dance routine and just starts doing it in the club. If you aren’t sensing my sarcasm, please catch a whiff of it now!

Like I was saying, I was searching for a good conversation and this nice young lady sat down next to me and nearly talked my ear off. I don’t know if I have a sign on my head, that screams, “Talk to me”.  Or if my “peoples” told her to come hit me up, but she dropped that old game on me. “What are you doing sitting here all alone?”. We begin to converse, and no I didn’t hit her with the “I’m not looking, I’m stuck on the same chick I’ve been stuck on all my life.” Give a brother some credit, I know how to talk to the ladies.

So we get into a heated debate. So heated her friends come and try to gang up on me. What started it? She tried to tell me there were no good black single men. So I flip it on her, and tell her that there are just that most women these days aren’t looking for good men. So of course she gets defensive and starts telling me about her past 3 boyfriends. So I politely let her finish, I don’t interrupt. Yet, I begin to explain to her that it was more her choices of black men, then the generalization that there were no good ones. Then it became, “attack the brother” show. I had women listening from the other side of club coming over to yell at me. To an onlooker, I must have looked like the man, because I was surrounded with women. Yet, if you took a closer look you could see the angry looks on their faces.

Why were they so angry? Was it because I am a black man, and I shouldn’t have been defending myself as well as my brothers? Or because I was telling them the truth and they couldn’t handle it? There is a small, slight, minor chance that I could have been wrong, but I’m eliminating that reasoning because I didn’t tell them anything they didn’t feed into the machine. If you tell me your man did nothing but cheat on you, but he also cheated on every other woman he was with. Your telling me that you either, accept that he’s going to do that to you. Or you think that he’s a dog that’s going to loose his spots miraculously because he’s got with you. If you tell me your man has three children, with three different women. Then don’t understand why he wouldn’t commit to you. I’m going to tell you, that obviously he has a commitment problem. If you tell me you make six figures and he’s struggling to make it, but you want a man who can take care of you. I’m gonna tell you that he ain’t the man for you. This is common sense to me. Why they don’t understand that, I’ll never understand.

Home Hunting…

House vs. Loft. Being the ripe old age of 32, I’ve had my share of renting experiences. None in which I ever plan to revisit. After I purchased my first place, I told myself I’d never rent again. And thus far, I have kept a hold to that goal. I am currently seeking a new city of residence. Not quite sure where yet, I have the flexibility to live wherever. Yet, because I’m not home much I’d much rather live some place where the cost of living is better then the big cities of my past.

I’m from the south, so I’m want a big place, for reasonable money. And although, I do myself think why on earth should a single guy with no children, significant other, or pets buy a 3+ bedroom house. To me purchasing a home with any less, seems ridiculous because you can just get a condo if your going for 1-2 bedroom. Hence, me owning the home in Baltimore that I rarely inhabit, never venture into the guest bedroom, and totally have game roomed, officed, & drawn a blank on the rest of the rooms. I currently have dust growing on dust. And no i’m not ashamed because no one ever visits, because i’m NEVER home.

So now going into my “new places” phase, I want to either move some place and buy a home I’m going to live in or a loft I can bachelor myself out in. The choice really depends on the city, and depends on the living situations. I feel like it’s less maintence, less bills, & less waste if I just get a loft with a couple of rooms. Yet, not having a driveway, front & back yard is a little disturbing as well. Lofts, make me think of my apartment days. Living under, over, next to someone else. Big windows = cold in winter, hot in summer. Trash chutes, security codes, doormen, etc..but the advantages are no cutting grass, no roof repairs, not as many bad little kids running around, or dogs going to town in your driveway.

So which one is right for me? I have no clue. I’m currently working in NY, and although I’ve lived here before and doubt I want to do it again I looked at a few places. Beautiful, would love to do the loft thing yet don’t want to pay half a “milli” to live in a closet. Not a fan of NJ, upstate, or any of it’s neighboring cities. So I pretty much have talked myself out of it, although it’s tempting considering i’m going to be here off & on for the majority of the next two months. Cali is way too slow and relaxed. I literally want to kill everyone who leisurely takes their time every morning on their way to the beach before their shifts at their various resturant of employment. And I’m so locked in the pocket when it comes to the south. It’s either GA (where i’m from) or Florida (where i’ve lived). 

As far as GA goes, I could live anywhere in the metro area. I’m comfortable enough to always know I can find a place there. So my major scouting is Florida. Florida is like a never ending bag of Halloween candy though. Although you can enjoy each piece, too much of it just makes you sick. One word, Tourist! That’s why I hated living in Flordia before. All the slow drivers, trying to take pictures, trying to find places, filling all the entertainment venues. Orlando, Mickey Mouse & Friends take over the city. It takes you 2 hours to get 3 blocks on International Blvd on a Friday night. Highway is full of old retired people who shouldn’t be driving, slow drivers who don’t know how to merge, oh and more tourist. At least in Atlanta, we are trying to get to work. You have people getting in the HOV lanes to get there on time, in Florida the workday must start at 9:30am cause I swear everyone is just chilling taking their time. No traffic collisions, no construction, just one car in the fast lane doing 45mph. Same goes for Tampa.

Tallahassee, is just dead. Jacksonville is nice but boring as well. Miami is great. Yet, I still can’t see living there. Although it would probably be where I moved to. Oh well let me get back on hunt.