Ever been listening to a song, watching a movie or talk show and felt like something was totally unrealistic? Like people being “in love” just seemed so fake. Who writes this stuff? I’ve done all the romantic hoopla to woo a woman. I bought flowers, sent her one card per year she lived for her birthday, sent her mom a “thank you” note for having her. All the “awe” moments, all uncoached, unprompted, & with no alternative motives. Just cause, “I loved her..”
But where did that get me? Bitter much? Yup. I find women ignore acts of kindness and chivalry if you display them too early or all the time. They’d rather you act like a jerk, then surprise them with your sensitivity. Never open a door, then on Valentine’s day…catch it before it closes. Only act nice and considerate on holidays (birthdays, Valentine’s day, Sweetest day, etc..).
What’s the point of acting into a woman if she only notices when you don’t? That all falls into my “women don’t like good guys theory”. Hear me out:
Women always complain, “there are no good guys left..” While I must admit there are many more eligible ladies with their “stuff” together these days, there are plenty of good guys out there to fill their dance cards. Women always overlook the guy with the good intentions. He’s always the “friend”, or the guy who didn’t look like a good catch until he got involved or married to someone else. He’s always the one who is there when you need them. Always the one who is playing second to your “boyfriend of the moment”. Always the one who is telling you how amazing you are “with your clothes on..” He’s the guy at work who checks on you when your looking sad. He’s the guy at church who gives you his seat when the pews are filled and the old funny acting folks won’t scoot over. He’s the guy who runs ahead and grabs & opens the door. The guy who gives up his cab in the pouring rain. The guy who buys you & your friends the drinks at the club and doesn’t get mad when none of you walk over and thank him. There are good guys out there, but what do women want….?
They want guys they can change. It’s a challenge! They’d rather have a born-again thug then just an average ordinary guy. They want the guys with three kids & three baby mamas to marry them and be exclusive. Guy who slangs for income to switch that up and work night shift at McDonald’s. A guy who was into religion in Jail, but now he’s out and hanging with his old friends and doing his old “thang” to walk the line of righteousness. There is nothing wrong with these type of guys, if you want these type of guys. But why try to change a guy. Why not look for what you want and stop settling? I refuse to settle for a woman who doesn’t match what I want. And yes, I am by myself 95% of the time..but I don’t regret my choice. I’d rather be alone, then be with someone who won’t fully aggrandize my soul. I need to know that she’s what I want, who God wants for me, and that there is nothing better elsewhere. And by that, I mean that with all the flaws and imperfections in humans knowing that a person is the greatest gift you could have possibly received that there is no area that they don’t satisfy in your life. They are the most beautiful, the kindest, smartest, etc.. It’s not ranked like People’s 50 most beautiful mannequins. It’s ranked in, out of all these people on this earth this is the only person for me and the best match out there. Only then do I feel you can lock yourself into a real relationship.
Forget that bogus 80/20 rule! It sounds cool in movies. But honestly, ask the people who’ve been together for 60 years. Yes, you do have problems & issues but after a while even through those you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else. The second you can, you shouldn’t be in that situation. Ha- I admit I’m straying from the original topic so let me get back to my tirade.
I feel women should expect more, demand more, and stop accepting until they get more. Not being a hater, just saying if you are “more” you have no problem with this reasoning. You never hear men complain because we go out and get what we want. If we want a “hoe”, that’s what we get. If we want a “wifey”, that’s what we get. If we want a “provider”, we work our lazy “arses” off till we find one. Women are convinced there is a shortage of men, especially black women. So they accept dudes they shouldn’t even leave their doors unlocked around, bring them around their kids, family, & friends and expect them to act right. Give that dude, who breaks out in a sweat every time he sees you a chance. He’s the only who is really sweating you (bad pun intended)! Next time your mom says she met a nice guy she wants to introduce you to, just check him out. I mean he’s already in good with your mom if she trying to play match maker. Stop shopping at Lane Bryant, but only wanting to date a guy off a Bally’s commercial. Stop being 4 inches away from being considered a midget but wanting a guy to be taller then Shaq & LeBron. Learn how to date a average dude with a good job. See that same beauty in a guy that you want him to see in you once your hour glass figure adds a few hours or you start aging. Give a good guy a chance!
