I will be renewing this wordpress thing soon. I fell in then out of love with it.

My schedule gets hectic, times passes by. Almost like i forgot about this blog. Think i’m going to attempt to divorce myself of my “infatuation w/her” , and focus on the new improved me!

So we did it, now what? Once the momentum is lost, once the Jan. 19 is over. Once our president, the “people’s president” is in office will we lose sight of what this whole movement was? We tend to look towards others for change. But will we forget that the change includes us?

This is the most informed we have ever been as a country. The most united we have been as a country. Yet, are we going to wash our hands of this and put it all on the back of Barack? To understand what’s happening & what needs to happen, we need to see that it’s only going to work if we all change. That’s the beauty of the whole, “Yes, we can” campaign. For the first time in history a candidate, elect, President…has believed in us as a nation. And we supported his dream.

But just like Dr. King showed, a dream is just a dream until put into action. This is historic for so many reasons. It’s not just a victory in equality. For all of us with common sense know that this does not mean we are equal. Just look at the voting in the southern regions. Look at how many African American & Hispanics voters registered and exercised their right to vote, how many liberal and educated white voters were impressed and moved by the “idea” of change. There were still enough uneducated rednecks, conservative liberals, right winged republicans to add to the McCain/Palin column. Although, very ”close” it still shed the same ”RED”  blood of all our forefathers drenched in their historic confederate shame. Being from the south, maybe this screams out to me more then to the people who feel like, “well he won, anyway!”.

So when I see people focusing on just the presidential race, when we still have an senate race looming in the shadows. When people say, “we still have the majority…” , and not really understanding that we still have the same “ol’ boys” out campaigning against change.  Again, Obama can’t do it without us! We don’t understand our part isn’t done.

I am a proud supporter, a proud citizen of the United States of America. This is the first time in history I have been as proud of my President. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Clinton. We all loved, Clinton. It’s not a “black” thing. It’s a overwhelming feeling of admiration. This is a educated man, elequent speaker, an community organizer, and a family man. Look up two paragraphs, he is this generation Dr. King, who is including every single one of us in his “dream”.  Why white people continue to keep their “one drop of black, makes you black” glasses on, totally confuses me. He is exactly what America is. Exactly what racist feared from “mixing” our races. He’s become the little boy who dreamed of the impossible and achieved it. This isn’t historic because of his skin color, it’s historic because the word “can’t” has been removed from so many children’s minds & hearts. He’s what I, my parents, nor my grandmother ever thought we’d see in our lifetime. He is change, we are change. Please, let’s continue to Unite our American States.

Ever been listening to a song, watching a movie or talk show and felt like something was totally unrealistic? Like people being “in love” just seemed so fake. Who writes this stuff? I’ve done all the romantic hoopla to woo a woman. I bought flowers, sent her one card per year she lived for her birthday, sent her mom a “thank you” note for having her. All the “awe” moments, all uncoached, unprompted, & with no alternative motives. Just cause, “I loved her..”

But where did that get me? Bitter much? Yup. I find women ignore acts of kindness and chivalry if you display them too early or all the time. They’d rather you act like a jerk, then surprise them with your sensitivity. Never open a door, then on Valentine’s day…catch it before it closes. Only act nice and considerate on holidays (birthdays, Valentine’s day, Sweetest day, etc..).

What’s the point of acting into a woman if she only notices when you don’t?  That all falls into my “women don’t like good guys theory”. Hear me out:

Women always complain, “there are no good guys left..” While I must admit there are many more eligible ladies with their “stuff” together these days, there are plenty of good guys out there to fill their dance cards. Women always overlook the guy with the good intentions. He’s always the “friend”, or the guy who didn’t look like a good catch until he got involved or married to someone else. He’s always the one who is there when you need them. Always the one who is playing second to your “boyfriend of the moment”. Always the one who is telling you how amazing you are “with your clothes on..” He’s the guy at work who checks on you when your looking sad. He’s the guy at church who gives you his seat when the pews are filled and the old funny acting folks won’t scoot over. He’s the guy who runs ahead and grabs & opens the door. The guy who gives up his cab in the pouring rain. The guy who buys you & your friends the drinks at the club and doesn’t get mad when none of you walk over and thank him. There are good guys out there, but what do women want….?

They want guys they can change. It’s a challenge! They’d rather have a born-again thug then just an average ordinary guy. They want the guys with three kids & three baby mamas to marry them and be exclusive. Guy who slangs for income to switch that up and work night shift at McDonald’s. A guy who was into religion in Jail, but now he’s out and hanging with his old friends and doing his old “thang” to walk the line of righteousness. There is nothing wrong with these type of guys, if you want these type of guys. But why try to change a guy. Why not look for what you want and stop settling? I refuse to settle for a woman who doesn’t match what I want. And yes, I am by myself 95% of the time..but I don’t regret my choice. I’d rather be alone, then be with someone who won’t fully aggrandize my soul. I need to know that she’s what I want, who God wants for me, and that there is nothing better elsewhere. And by that, I mean that with all the flaws and imperfections in humans knowing that a person is the greatest gift you could have possibly received that there is no area that they don’t satisfy in your life. They are the most beautiful, the kindest, smartest, etc.. It’s not ranked like People’s 50 most beautiful mannequins. It’s ranked in, out of all these people on this earth this is the only person for me and the best match out there. Only then do I feel you can lock yourself into a real relationship.

Forget that bogus 80/20 rule! It sounds cool in movies. But honestly, ask the people who’ve been together for 60 years. Yes, you do have problems & issues but after a while even through those you couldn’t see yourself with anyone else. The second you can, you shouldn’t be in that situation. Ha- I admit I’m straying from the original topic so let me get back to my tirade.

I feel women should expect more, demand more, and stop accepting until they get more. Not being a hater, just saying if you are “more” you have no problem with this reasoning. You never hear men complain because we go out and get what we want. If we want a “hoe”, that’s what we get. If we want a “wifey”, that’s what we get. If we want a “provider”, we work our lazy “arses” off till we find one. Women are convinced there is a shortage of men, especially black women. So they accept dudes they shouldn’t even leave their doors unlocked around, bring them around their kids, family, & friends and expect them to act right. Give that dude, who breaks out in a sweat every time he sees you a chance. He’s the only who is really sweating you (bad pun intended)! Next time your mom says she met a nice guy she wants to introduce you to, just check him out. I mean he’s already in good with your mom if she trying to play match maker. Stop shopping at Lane Bryant, but only wanting to date a guy off a Bally’s commercial. Stop being 4 inches away from being considered a midget but wanting a guy to be taller then Shaq & LeBron. Learn how to date a average dude with a good job. See that same beauty in a guy that you want him to see in you once your hour glass figure adds a few hours or you start aging. Give a good guy a chance!

This is in no way a dig at Ne-Yo, he’s a cool dude. In fact I’ve told him this very same thing a million times: ”Why all the women anthems dude?”.  Why are you uniting the women against us, man? I mean first, he’s Got Beyonce kicking dudes to the left.  Then Rhianna, telling dudes to keep “Ackin, Sorry you got caught”. Now, dude is on his own album talking about he likes, “When women got their own..” Knowing good and darn well 95% of the women singing along to that song, do not. 

Wants some evidence of Snitchin’/Hating?:

Exhibit A: His string of Hater songs: Irreplaceable, Unfaithful, Take A Bow, Single, Ms. Independent (yes it’s a hater song!) 

Why do women need HIM to tell them what they should do? It’s like the “Magic Revealed” guy on TV with the mask. He knows that if David Copperfield, Chris Angel, or David Blane found out who he was they’d kick the “magic” out of him. Stop before you tell them ”why we do/act/say stupid things”, you’re slowly giving them weapons of male destruction (WMD) the tools to completely make us do whatever they want. You don’t see Keri Hilson telling us “secrets”.

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Exhibit B:  ”If you came here by yourself tonight…cause he wouldn’t pick up the phone. He was suppose to bring you here tonight, couldn’t find him so you came alone. It don’t matter cause you’re here now, and the music you’re enjoying. So for the next couple minutes, baby I’ll be your boyfriend…”

Now he don’t know what that dude was doing. He could be on the side of the road, dead, missing (aint the same thing, you can be missing and not dead), at the hospital, church, etc..but it don’t matter, he wouldn’t pick up the phone. So she got ready and still brought her “Non-Single” self out to the club, but your steady saying, “Pretty mama, are you single?”. We’ve already established at the beginning she wasn’t. You can steal a man’s girl, just not by filling her head up about HIS whereabouts. Player Code baby…you must have forget. As Diddy would say, that’s a bit of Bitchassness!

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Exhibit C: He recently went on record saying, “Omarion & Trey Songs grew up because they cut their cornrows”. He said Ludacris also realized that you can’t rock a 3 piece suit with cornrows. Year of the Gentleman.

You already know what I’m going to say right? How many times have you seen Ne-Yo’s scalp? Dude will wear a hat into church, weddings, swimming, bath tub etc. Before you talk about other’s fashion faux pas, practice what you preach. We all got over LL Cool J’s odd shaped head, we can learn to get used to yours.

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Exhibit D: The Official “Milli” Remix

Who likes when a cat who sings all of a sudden starts rapping about how rich he is? Nuff said.

It’s almost that twilight hour, and I’ve just been talked into my love lock down cage.  It’s like I can give advice for days to everyone else, but when it comes to myself I’m at a loss. Companionship isn’t even high on my list, yet that natural urge creeps up my spine at times and taps me on the shoulder. It would be much easier if women were just hard wired like men. Yet, I’m sure we wouldn’t be as attracted if they were.

How can a woman know you love her, and only her…yet ignore it? Aren’t women supposed to be the more compassionate of the two. I’m just blowing smoke right now, the woman I’m speaking of has no clue I’m still madly in love with her. Why she stays on my mind, i have no clue. I think people truly do ignore “soul mates” sometimes. I’ve participated in many arguments that, “If you are truly soul mates, or meant to be…you will be”. I don’t believe that!

What about people who die young, what happens to their soul mates? Or people who marry out of convenience, not love. Obviously, they did not marry their soul mate. So then what? All these halved people wondering around, waiting for someone no longer on earth or already bonded into a loveless marriage? It can be argued that, the union will happen in heaven.

THAT SUCKS!…Not to sound unappreciative, but what are us “halved” people suppose to do till then? When you know that the person you’re suppose to love is no long an option on this earth, what do you do till then? If you truly believe that, then you can’t enter into a situation where you occupy someone else’s soul mate. You don’t want to be alone, God doesn’t intend us to be alone. So do you keep hope alive that you are just completely wrong, and your soul mate is out there somewhere waiting for you. Or do you just cope with the loneliness and wait for the reward? 

*sigh*..decisions decisions!

I guess the sign that your getting older, is when you go out and instead of searching for that girl to “Make Love In The Club”, your just babysitting a drink and looking for an intelligent conversation. Back in the day, me and my boys would also call that, gay. But I’m comfortable in my grown man status. I’ve learned that the type of woman I’m looking for I’m not gonna find at no club. And if I do find her there, she’ll be married, dating, or lost. So when my “peoples” drag me out with them, I usually sit off to myself unless I’m called to the floor for my impromptu dance scene. Like in the movies, where everyone knows the same dance routine and just starts doing it in the club. If you aren’t sensing my sarcasm, please catch a whiff of it now!

Like I was saying, I was searching for a good conversation and this nice young lady sat down next to me and nearly talked my ear off. I don’t know if I have a sign on my head, that screams, “Talk to me”.  Or if my “peoples” told her to come hit me up, but she dropped that old game on me. “What are you doing sitting here all alone?”. We begin to converse, and no I didn’t hit her with the “I’m not looking, I’m stuck on the same chick I’ve been stuck on all my life.” Give a brother some credit, I know how to talk to the ladies.

So we get into a heated debate. So heated her friends come and try to gang up on me. What started it? She tried to tell me there were no good black single men. So I flip it on her, and tell her that there are just that most women these days aren’t looking for good men. So of course she gets defensive and starts telling me about her past 3 boyfriends. So I politely let her finish, I don’t interrupt. Yet, I begin to explain to her that it was more her choices of black men, then the generalization that there were no good ones. Then it became, “attack the brother” show. I had women listening from the other side of club coming over to yell at me. To an onlooker, I must have looked like the man, because I was surrounded with women. Yet, if you took a closer look you could see the angry looks on their faces.

Why were they so angry? Was it because I am a black man, and I shouldn’t have been defending myself as well as my brothers? Or because I was telling them the truth and they couldn’t handle it? There is a small, slight, minor chance that I could have been wrong, but I’m eliminating that reasoning because I didn’t tell them anything they didn’t feed into the machine. If you tell me your man did nothing but cheat on you, but he also cheated on every other woman he was with. Your telling me that you either, accept that he’s going to do that to you. Or you think that he’s a dog that’s going to loose his spots miraculously because he’s got with you. If you tell me your man has three children, with three different women. Then don’t understand why he wouldn’t commit to you. I’m going to tell you, that obviously he has a commitment problem. If you tell me you make six figures and he’s struggling to make it, but you want a man who can take care of you. I’m gonna tell you that he ain’t the man for you. This is common sense to me. Why they don’t understand that, I’ll never understand.

House vs. Loft. Being the ripe old age of 32, I’ve had my share of renting experiences. None in which I ever plan to revisit. After I purchased my first place, I told myself I’d never rent again. And thus far, I have kept a hold to that goal. I am currently seeking a new city of residence. Not quite sure where yet, I have the flexibility to live wherever. Yet, because I’m not home much I’d much rather live some place where the cost of living is better then the big cities of my past.

I’m from the south, so I’m want a big place, for reasonable money. And although, I do myself think why on earth should a single guy with no children, significant other, or pets buy a 3+ bedroom house. To me purchasing a home with any less, seems ridiculous because you can just get a condo if your going for 1-2 bedroom. Hence, me owning the home in Baltimore that I rarely inhabit, never venture into the guest bedroom, and totally have game roomed, officed, & drawn a blank on the rest of the rooms. I currently have dust growing on dust. And no i’m not ashamed because no one ever visits, because i’m NEVER home.

So now going into my “new places” phase, I want to either move some place and buy a home I’m going to live in or a loft I can bachelor myself out in. The choice really depends on the city, and depends on the living situations. I feel like it’s less maintence, less bills, & less waste if I just get a loft with a couple of rooms. Yet, not having a driveway, front & back yard is a little disturbing as well. Lofts, make me think of my apartment days. Living under, over, next to someone else. Big windows = cold in winter, hot in summer. Trash chutes, security codes, doormen, etc..but the advantages are no cutting grass, no roof repairs, not as many bad little kids running around, or dogs going to town in your driveway.

So which one is right for me? I have no clue. I’m currently working in NY, and although I’ve lived here before and doubt I want to do it again I looked at a few places. Beautiful, would love to do the loft thing yet don’t want to pay half a “milli” to live in a closet. Not a fan of NJ, upstate, or any of it’s neighboring cities. So I pretty much have talked myself out of it, although it’s tempting considering i’m going to be here off & on for the majority of the next two months. Cali is way too slow and relaxed. I literally want to kill everyone who leisurely takes their time every morning on their way to the beach before their shifts at their various resturant of employment. And I’m so locked in the pocket when it comes to the south. It’s either GA (where i’m from) or Florida (where i’ve lived). 

As far as GA goes, I could live anywhere in the metro area. I’m comfortable enough to always know I can find a place there. So my major scouting is Florida. Florida is like a never ending bag of Halloween candy though. Although you can enjoy each piece, too much of it just makes you sick. One word, Tourist! That’s why I hated living in Flordia before. All the slow drivers, trying to take pictures, trying to find places, filling all the entertainment venues. Orlando, Mickey Mouse & Friends take over the city. It takes you 2 hours to get 3 blocks on International Blvd on a Friday night. Highway is full of old retired people who shouldn’t be driving, slow drivers who don’t know how to merge, oh and more tourist. At least in Atlanta, we are trying to get to work. You have people getting in the HOV lanes to get there on time, in Florida the workday must start at 9:30am cause I swear everyone is just chilling taking their time. No traffic collisions, no construction, just one car in the fast lane doing 45mph. Same goes for Tampa.

Tallahassee, is just dead. Jacksonville is nice but boring as well. Miami is great. Yet, I still can’t see living there. Although it would probably be where I moved to. Oh well let me get back on hunt.

Foolishly, my cousin, friend, & I were coming home from a night of debauchery. It was my cousin’s “reclaim my sexy” (divorce anniversary)  night. Unfortunately, he’s always tied to some chick right before he’s suppose to “reclaim” it, so it turns into more of a “let’s hang out and look at all the beautiful ladies, talk about the beautiful ladies, & go home drunk together…”. Of course our responsibility level is much higher then that of our twenties. We all have breached the “30’s” threshold, and try to maintain some sort of resemblance of mature adults.

So after walking to and sitting in waffle house for a few hours flirting with every waitress and woman that walked in, we were ready to go home. We walk back to the car, start down the road. We’re sitting at the light and look over and see the car next to us backing up. At least that’s what we thought at first. Next thing we know, they back right into the car behind them. No one reacts. The car behind them doesn’t blow their horn, no one gets out the car. We proceed to watch the car slip out of gear and do the same thing again. So of course, even though we know we’re sober at this point we’re tripping because this seems like one of those “drunk glasses” episodes (you know when your drunk and you see something totally different then everyone else). So we just sit there in amazement. My cousin then gets the idea when the light changes and the car takes off that he’s going to aid in the capture of the “hit & run” bandits.

So we start driving beside them, the car in front of them starts slowing down in front of them, the actual car that was hit is lagging behind. We see there is a parked truck on the side of the rode, so the car in front of them slows down almost to a stop, and my cousin is asking us if he should stop too. We have them cornered, and then realize the car they hit is no where to be found. So at this point we figure there is nothing else to do, but go on about our business. We had did all of that, for the “victims” to just pull over and call the police. At least we weren’t the only “hit& run” Rangers.

I’m making a quick dash for the post office. Yes I know it closes at 5pm. Yes I know I should have started my journey before 4:38pm, because I live about 15 minutes away. Still, Friday afternoon it should be a breeze right? After all normal people are trying to rush home to their families and jump start their weekend fun. I stop at the stop sign, proceed around the corner to find that everyone in the entire city is at the post office.

Okay, maybe that’s what I get huh? I pull into the overcrowded parking lot and there are no spaces except…da da daah “Handicap Only”.  Living in many cities, mostly in the downtown areas. I’ve had my experience with the “I’m just going to run in, it’s okay to park here for a second..” or the “I’m just getting money out of the ATM, no police is going to randomly patrol the bank parking lot to give me a ticket…”. Yet to my amazement I’ve been ticketed, once too many times if you asked me. So learning from my mistakes I decide not to partake in the privileged parking and circle around like a vulture praying someone has given up their space. I circle once, twice, three times, so many times I swear I’m going to get dizzy..all while the time ticks away. I now have 3 minutes to walk into the post office before they lock the doors till Monday.

Finally someone leaves their space and I zip in and run into the post office. The line inside is ridiculous, and the obnoxious Passport picture taker man is asking anyone if they are in line for a “Non-Postal” reason. It’s like dude, it’s closing time, we are INSIDE of the post office. At this point the only reason we are in line is for a “Postal” reason. I watch as this woman standing in front me gets out of line to ask him just what a “Non Postal” reason was. Being the “my time is everything” person I am I casually scoot up. Then she proceeds to slide back in front of me as if I wouldn’t notice. So I don’t say nothing. Then I she again steps out of line to get a box (may I add she had to build it, with no tape, no pen, no nothing!). She again walks right back in front of me. We continue to move closer and closer to the counter. I notice her construction on her box has ceased. To most people it would seem as if she was finished, but my gut was telling me otherwise. Like clockwork, she walks up to the counter and ask “Do you have the Priority Label for this box?”. Seems like a reasonable question right? That was until I looked right next to me at the big sign that said, “PRIORITY LABELS, PLEASE FILL OUT BEFORE REACHING THE COUNTER”.

She turns around and smiles at me and loudly proclaims, “I’m sorry I know I’m holding these people up…”. She continued to hold everyone up while I finally got to the next clerk. I have my package ready and the lady looks at me and says, “You know since it’s after 5, it’s not going to go in until the next day?”. This is why they say “Don’t go Postal!” because not only are they crazy, but they bring the crazy out of you too. I remain calm, do my little countdown, smile and just say, “Ok”. I walk out the same time as the box lady, who is dancing like someone turned on some strobe lights. I hold the door open and watch as she walks over to the handicapped parking space, I should have taken. No handicap sticker, no physical handicap displayed, & no ticket for parking there.

The whole incident just brought out my resentment for Handicapped parking in general. Why are there so many Handicapped parking spaces? And why are the majority of the people parked in them with the stickers not really handicapped. It’s getting so bad these days, there is also, “Expecting Mothers”, “Police Deputy”, and “Employee of the Month” restricted parking. It’s impossible to get a parking space within a 1 mile radius of the actual door. I’m gonna start carrying a cone in my car, with a sign taped to a stick..”I’m Not Handicapped, but I want to park in the front too!” and place it in front of my car every time I go someplace. Wanna bet how fast that sign gets stolen?